Do you ever miss the adventurous ways of childhood?
When the tiny box of raisins was the best snack, getting to drink a can of coke was the greatest treat and imagination ruled everyday life?
And let’s be honest here… Bangs, hairbows, and hand-painted Christmas sweatshirts for a FREE Christmas photo shoot at the volunteer fire station in your community was COMPLETELY acceptable.
I have become so nostalgic towards the ways of my childhood and the protection I experienced within it.
I grew up living around my cousins, with a big pasture, a fantastic pond, hay bales, and grandparents a mile down the road. We had a donkey named Moe and my sisters, cousins, and I would feed him carrots with Italian salad dressing… I mean carrots aren’t good without it. We would pretend we were at war and run through the fields. Some days we were soldiers, other days we were pioneers, most days American girl dolls. Whatever we ventured, the excitement was real.
Life was simple and life was easy.
Now, I am fresh out of college and it seems as if the pending question for all like me is
“So, what do you want to do with your life?”
Is it appropriate to respond “I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA”??
You know that scene of The Notebook? Where Allie is trying to decide between Noah and that other guy? Noah keeps yelling “What do you want?!” and Allie bawling and screaming “I don’t know!”.
Allie’s response is the way my tummy reacts when people ask that question. Instant panic tummy… insert fake smile and answers.
When asked that question, I come up with all the answers I feel like the world expects of me. I tell people what my major was and that I have considered a masters program. I tell people that I am enjoying my current job and am interested to see where it will take me.
You know what I am really doing? Telling people what I think they want to hear and hiding my insecurity with REALLY bogus answers.
I attend a bible study that is happening in my community. A friend, the sweetest Rachel I know, spoke up about feeling insecure and inadequate. She told the group that she had been praying and asking the Lord what He thought of those words.
“When you live in Him, you live IN-security. When you live in Him, you live IN-adequacy.”
We are secure. We are adequate. We are enough.
Last night, the question was asked and before I could think of the perfect response, I immediately responded how I felt… “I have no idea.” I said what I loved and I spoke the honest truth, and it felt AWESOME.
You know what was even more peaceful about confessing my unknown? The grace that was given as a response. My heart felt a weight lift off my chest.
In Him… I live IN-Security.
Pride aside, insecurity aside, embarrassment aside, inadequacy aside… I have no idea what I want to do with my life. It scares me. It terrifies me. Somedays, it paralyzes me.
But God does. God sees. God hears. God adventures with us in the unknown.
My friend Kayla invited me to adventure with her Saturday. It was a sporadic trip and full of fun. We hiked up a big hill and ate granola bars, attempting to tap into our earthy side.
We spent the morning in spontaneity and recognized the adventure that God really has for us. We discovered it in the playful nature that was pulled out of us in the discovery of a playground and the determination to make it to the top of a stupid steep hill.
We discovered joy in taking the risk of turning left instead of right and pursuing a path into the unknown.
Even if we aren’t on a spontaneous hiking day, we are exploring in life.
And when you adventure, you never know what can happen next. That’s the beauty of not knowing what you are going to do for the rest of your life, it makes life one big, fat, terrifyingly, awesome adventure.